Leaving On A Jet Plane

Saturday, August 18th 2018

I went to sleep early in Beaver Creek. One of us (I can't recall who) set an alarm for the 2:00am so I could attempt some milky way photos again, while I still could. When the alarm went off, I peeked out the window to check out the clarity of the night sky. It was clear, but it looked like a shelf of thin clouds was moving in. As my eyes adjusted, the excitement swelled within me as I knew, based on past experience, that those weren't clouds moving in. "Cameron!" I exclaimed, "Northern Lights!"

I whipped my camera out of the bag and immediately got to work. Cameron groggily took an extra minute to join me outside, where I was already experimenting with trying to get some pictures. Sans tripod, I worked quickly to get the camera in a position to capture the light show. First on top of the car, and then to a picnic table, I took many exposures trying to get one A) in focus B) that truly captured the whimsy, the color, and the life the sky was flaunting. I got many colorful pictures (see bottom of entry) of the aurora flitting and pulsing and dancing like pale green and purple ribbons across the sky, but I only got one in focus. And that was all Mother Nature, and my sleep-deprivation-induced-impatient brother would allow. Shortly after the one "good" picture was taken, the lights faded back into the inky black star-speckled sky, and they were gone. I didn't see them again. We had awoken at the picture perfect time.

The Northern Lights "good" capture

Morning came, and we were out the door by 7:00am, greeted by clear blue skies, a nice change from the haze we'd had for almost the entire trip. A quick breakfast across the street (which were some of the best "hot cakes" I've ever had, complete with real maple syrup), we were on the road, only 15 or so miles from the US border. Naturally, we had to take a picture with the "Welcome to Alaska" sign. After all, we made it. But we were only in the home stretch, we had 400 miles to go before we actually made our destination. But my goodness, what it a magnificent 400 miles it was. Jagged mountains, flowing giant white glaciers, and the enormous snow-capped shield of the Mount Wrangell volcano and Mount. Zanetti's pure white volcanic cinder cone peak in Wrangell-St. Elias National Park rose like titans in the rear view mirror.

The Mountains in Wrangell-St. Elias National Park. Left to Right: Mt. Zanetti, Mt. Wrangell, and Mt. Sanford

The Welcome Sign

The closer we got to Anchorage, the duller the sky became until it was overcast. When we finally arrived there, the sky was as grey as it could be. It didn't rain, but it was gloomy. That didn't stop us from driving around the relatively small city. I found a giant vibrant postcard mural that I just had to take a picture with, and then we parked by a park overlooking the bay, and I waited in the car as Cameron made calls about a hotel. I later asked if it was a hotel? A hostel? An Air BnB? No response.

Mural somewhere in Anchorage

This is where it gets tricky. Cameron navigated me to the suburbs of Anchorage where I expected a hotel to be. But the streets went from commercial to urban residential, and then finally to suburban residential. I was utterly confused when we pulled up to a house in a caul de sac, but stayed put when Cameron went inside. A half hour later, he summons me inside. Much to my confusion and anger, this wasn't a hotel, or even a hostel. It was a makeshift boarding house with at least 12 other people sleeping in double or triple rooms, pull-out sofas, spaces under the stairs or in the dining room, tents and cabins in the backyard, or even a bed in an ice cream truck parked in the driveway. The place was crowded, and in my opinion, a bit on the falling apart side.

I was very angry and it sent me into a pretty intense anxiety attack. Cameron had picked this place up on Craigslist because it was cheap and it was what he could afford. But he definitely had not consulted me about my feelings. Not only am I shy, but I get social anxiety, especially when I am not mentally prepared or have awareness of out-of-the-comfort-zone stepping. The anxiety over the sudden amount of strangers (of both sexes) I'd be sharing a living space sent me into a fit of hysterics. Cameron might be able to handle the influx of strangers and socializing and vagabond lifestyle on a whim, but I can't. Cameron thought it would be fun. He and I have very different definitions of fun.

Cameron told me we'd go to dinner and talk about it. When I marched to the car, the "landlady" Cat saw me and asked him if I was okay. I forced a smile and waved while Cameron exchanged words with her, but when he approached me and the car again, he told me that she knew I was upset and had invited her to dinner to talk about things. This just infuriated me more and further sent my anxiety into a frenzy. Now not only did I have to deal with the emotions and the stress of just working out my feelings with him, he invited Cat to dinner, putting me in an uncomfortably awful position of having to work those many emotions and stressors out with her and him, and making me appear rude and ungrateful at the living situation, which is not at all what I wanted or even what I was feeling. The true issue is that I was not consulted. I would have been okay with a hostel. But a stranger's house, especially without asking me, crossed such a big comfort-level line. Cameron said he didn't ask me because he knew I'd disapprove. Just to clarify one more time. This is nothing against Cat, the people who live in her house, or the bohemian lifestyle these people live. It was me, my anxieties, and this whole situation being unknowingly dropped on me at the last second. 

Cat ended up not joining us for dinner because I refused, but Cameron and I got into a shouting match in the parking lot of some Vietnamese restaurant, our words laced with obscenities and blame from both sides. We ended up eating dinner separately, and after angry texts, calls, and a little more shouting, we mostly worked it out. I agreed I would stay the night, and we went back to the house.

Back at the house, we convened in the living room area and talked with some of the housemates and Cat for a while. Everyone was kind, albeit getting increasingly drunk (except me, since I don't drink) as the night went on courtesy of a couple boxes of boxed Merlot. I apologized to Cat for if I seemed rude and explained my feelings to her and that it wasn't her fault. I did this as she read my palms in the glow from the light above the kitchen stove. The conversations went on for a while, Cat explaining how the house got to be this way and who lived there. She was very quirky and lively. But she also had some qualities I wasn't too fond of. I also learned she would time my morning showers and bathroom time. She also said she could never like someone who ate meat because they're terrible people. Thanks. She also tried to set me up her son. "I found you a wife!" she said, before laughing and saying "sometimes I still wish arranged marriages were a thing."  I guess after some thinking and conversation I'll take as a compliment even though he was definitely not my type. 

I didn't rest easy. I was on a loud under-inflated air bed and didn't have a pillow. I was sleeping in the same room as a stranger. I was awoken several times in the night to the sound of rowdy conversation outside, and at least once to the frightening sight of flickering orange flames on the walls. Though, this was just related to the people outside chatting loudly and lighting middle-of-the-night fires in a fire pit.

Sunday, August 19th/20th 2018

That night was a terrible one to not get any sleep, given that I'd be on a red eye flight later that day. But our day started early with breakfast at an overly and unnecessarily conservative diner. The food was great and I had myself some reindeer sausage. This tasted a lot different than the reindeer burger I had a couple years ago. The sausage tasted more like kielbasa and less like the gamy venison flavor I remembered of the Icelandic burger.

Afterwards, we went for a quick stroll in Earthquake Park, but when we realized that I wouldn't be able to take the trail down to the water because of my leg, we turned back and ventured downtown again. It began to rain as we drove around looking for some Alaskan souvenir shops. I got some souvenirs, and we decided to catch a movie. For the record, this was the nicest theater I've been to. Literal recliners (with foot rests), cheap movie tickets, and good concessions. Cameron and I saw The Meg, a horribly fun movie. 

We went back downtown for a late lunch/early dinner. Hitting what was probably one of the more expensive places in Anchorage, I indulged myself in some overpriced yet delicious fresh Alaskan crab for dinner. Was it worth it? I'll tell you when I'm done paying off the credit card debt. 

It was a short drive to the airport. In the departures drop off, I hugged my brother goodbye and wished him luck at the airport and left him the farthest he's ever been from home.

Final strangle count: 21

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And so I sit here, no longer watching sprawling mountain vistas pass by me through an open car window. No more is the breeze filling my lungs with crisp clean (or smoky, you know either one) air, but instead I am staring at the windowless pale yellow walls of my office with stuffy, recycled dry air from the HVAC drifting in, and the only breeze coming from my little desk fan. I am quietly listening to John Denver, hoping to induce a little nostalgia of the sights I miss already, and am nursing a cup of coffee so to keep my drooping eyelids from closing and remaining that way. 

It has been a wonderful experience, one with a roller coaster of emotions and elevations. I'll miss the peace, I'll miss the sights, I'll miss my brother, and I'll miss the awe. Thank you Cameron for letting me come with you. I wish you the best of luck in this new adventure in your life. If you are still reading, thank you for sticking with me all this time. Below, find more photos from our adventures, and now onto the next one.

"He's an hour away from ridin' on your prayers up in the sky
And ten days on the road are barely gone
There's a fire softly burning; supper's on the stove
But it's the light in your eyes that makes him warm.
Hey, it's good to be back home again
Sometimes this old farm feels like a long lost friend
Yes, 'n, hey it's good to be back home again." 

- John Denver

Another view from Kluane National Park

Northern Lights reject no. 1

Northern Lights reject no. 2

Matanuska Glacier, Glacier View, AK

If there is a whale, I will find it

2014: A Summary

I've had an incomplete post sitting in my drafts for a couple months now, one that I just ctrl+A and deleted. It's not that I couldn't be bothered to finish it, it's that life got so busy and I forgot about it until now, when I was thinking about writing my summary of 2014 post. My thoughts from that entry will be included in this one, as they are all part of the big picture of 2014.

 I returned from Denmark just under three months ago, and my aforementioned blog post talked about my transition back to life in the US, which was difficult for me. It took me just as long, if not longer, to re-adjust to my "normal" life as it was in the US than it did for me to get used to my life in Denmark. Life back in the States felt mundane and boring (and still does, to some extent). The analytical comparisons I was making while in Denmark turned into, well, comparative comparisons. I would think things like: "Well Denmark does_______better" not "Denmark is different because..." Three months later I still occasionally make those comparisons, but they've dwindled into the things that are more thought than said. That being said, I think it was last week I said as I was falling asleep at my desk: "Well I wish I had my standing desk from Denmark. I never once felt tired at 3 in the afternoon!" I've also changed, and not just my perspective. My friends would tell you I'm much different than I used to be. I'm far more open (blunt, perhaps?) and without a filter. I'm more confident, and perhaps more anxious. I have a wanderlust now, and I'm trying very hard to satisfy that need. But, in introspect, I also think these changes in me have pushed people away...but it is hard for me to pinpoint exactly when these rifts started forming, if they are there at all. For all I know, these so-called "rifts" could just be the illusions of getting older and forming different lives and taking different paths. Regardless...

 I think 2014 was my best year so far, and the most challenging. So let's start at the beginning.

January 2014 began with the largest artistic undertaking of my life: My thesis project. It frustrated me sometimes; it made me want to yell, to cry, to stop and give up. But I prevailed, and wound up with an end product I am almost entirely satisfied with. In the coming year, I will try to continue adding to my book of churches, and even harder to make this tour something my city wants. It is applicable to life and tourism in my beautiful city, and although it may be arrogant of me to say, this is something my city needs.

The rest of my final semester brought about some great memories and people: I took a creative writing class in which I produced a short story, a story I consider to be one of my best written pieces (and one my professor thinks I could get published...but I've yet to attempt doing so. Perhaps that'll be a 2015 goal). I attended the Albany ADDY Awards with my team from Overit and proudly took a silver student award home for Point-of-Purchase design.

I took an Intro to Marketing class. My professor was enthusiastic, intelligent, experienced (to my delight, a former LEGO employee!), and just overall an amazing individual; he is one of the driving forces that encouraged me to go to Denmark. John, if you're reading this, thank you for all of your support (and cover letter proof-reading!). Although I only took one class with you, you inspired me into having the most life-changing experience. I don't think I could ever thank you enough.

In May, I finally graduated college. Five years, two schools, countless hours of work, drops of blood, towels of sweat, tissues of tears, and mountains of debt later, I finally did it. There are moments during the day when I surprise myself and think I'd rather be in class, but the moment is gone as it came, and I'm back to not missing academia much at all.

After May, much of my summer "events" and happenings occurred simultaneously:

In the absence of classes (because I simply do not know how not to learn), my friend and I took up learning languages. I am refreshing my Spanish, dabbling in Danish, plowing through German, and attempting the conlang (constructed language, aka it's not a "real" language) of my friend's invention. Learning these languages helps me not just learn how to speak them, but more about English, which is really great.  Do you know what a pragmatic particle is?

In late spring, I became an active, open (read: out-of-the-closet) member of a fandom I had previously just been lurking in for the past ten years. I wound up drawing a lot as a result of being inspired, and became part of a group of artists like me. These people very quickly became my close friends, inspirations, heroes, and collaborators. I am proud to be one of you, and glad y'all welcomed me with open arms, and look forward to the day I get to meet you all. I enjoy talking with you every day, and it is nice to know that there is usually a friend online somewhere if I need one to be. To my friends (even the ones not in the art group), you help me understand cultures, new languages, and the lore of our unifying franchise. Big shout out to Corv, who deservingly won his dream job as a LEGO product designer and starts next week. You'll be awesome. Unity, duty, destiny!

Over the summer I became great friends with two amazing Danish girls who came and visited. In the US we had a lot of fun together (caving, hanging out, and getting really drunk (wait, that was just me, wasn't it?)). Although we were all NGE  our exchanges were different, we shared the experiences of being in other's countries and out of each other's comfort zones. Well, at least I was out of my comfort zone by a leap, a bound, and a transatlantic flight. As mentioned in my previous blog entries, I loved getting to spend time with you in your cities and learning about your culture.

Also over the summer, I visited Iceland and Denmark. They were my first independent trips abroad (as in, not having anyone I knew with me). I'll just say another quick thank you to the people who made this possible and amazing. Mom & Dad, John, The Delmar Rotary Club, the Vejlefjord Rotary Club, The Pedersen Family, The Sigvert Family, Lars & the Uhrenholt team, Christina, Arense, and anyone else I could possibly be forgetting. I also got to meet my oldest internet friend, Giada, while abroad (from the fandom mentioned above too, how about that!?) Thank you all for making the experience what it was. It was incredible. I won't describe my trip, but go back and read the previous blog entries ;)

Upon my return from abroad (within a week!), I found out I was the recipient of two American Graphic Design & Advertising awards, and I was on a plane bound for Texas to see my cousin Emily as a beautiful bride, which really didn't help the jetlag. While my time in Texas was short, I really enjoyed getting to see the family I haven't seen in a very long time, and see a part of the country I'd never been before.

In the past month, I have gotten my first full-time job (and in my field!). I'm around cars, looking at cars, and talking about cars all day long, and that makes the gear-head in me happy. It can be repetitive, but I cannot really complain about the work. I'm hardly bored, and I'm kept busy. Except right now. I'm not busy right now. End-of-the-month lull. I'm writing this at work... shhhhh. But I do miss the view from my desk at Uhrenholt. Tacking a photo of the view through the window up on my cubicle wall is not the same. And it doesn't smell like the ocean either. Maybe it's a scratch and sniff... Nope. Well it was worth a shot.

This year was a mixed bag of emotions. It brought agonizing heartache, but it also brought exhilaration and days of happiness. I lost friends, but it gave me amazing new friends and brought me closer to some of the ones I already have. I made the right choice wearing silver and gold today.

The new year is bound to bring new and exciting things (hopefully). September will hopefully bring me to Iceland again, and then England with one of my best friends, where we will [hopefully] visit my friend Tom. But other than the new goal to publish my short story and travel abroad once more, I have no idea what the year has in store for me.

Well, I guess I better "get back to work." Those Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram banner ad templates aren't going to make themselves.

Godt nytår, mine venner.

Until next time,

E